Wednesday, September 12, 2012

Everything Happens For a Reason

Life Ain't Always Easy...But we always survive!

The last week of July, as I was heading into my final month of pregnancy, Mike found out that his position as Operations Coordinator of the FedEx St.Jude Classic was going to be be condensed with another position for the following year. Being a non-profit...the decision was made by the board and not a lot could be done by the people that worked directly with him . They thought it was only fair to give the new position to someone who had been with the tournament 7+ years. Knowing that this scenario was possible, he had a backup plan...well long story...that fell through. And here we were weeks away from me not working, with Mike no 'day job' income. ( he still had his side work of landscaping and fitness) July 30th was his last paycheck from the tournament.
Let me add that the day after we found out this news was Pierce's bike/head accident...
First anger, then fear, then tears, then SURVIVAL MODE! Being the hardest working man I know, Mike got out and landed several great landscaping projects.  And of course started looking for another career route. He is great at anything he does so his options are wide...but it's still a long process of opportunity and interviewing and such.  As the days/weeks ticked by, drawing closer to Hyde's arrival, we did become more and more nervous about finances but trusted everything would work out. On paper, we HAD to have him get a paycheck on 9/30.
The entire month of August, though it wasn't ideal financially, Mike was able to spend abundances of quality time with Pierce and Kade. Doing things like school work and outings with them he normally doesn't get too.  I had even more help around the house than he already does during my exhausted 9th month of pregnancy.  And I was blessed to even work my 9th month! Considering what my work is!
When I hit 37 weeks Mike had made it to a third interview with a company that was his top pick out of a few that had called him back for 2nd interviews. At 37.5 weeks, he accepted an offer from them. A great offer. A position that is right up his alley and ideal for our schedules. At 38.5 weeks, Hyde arrived!!!! Hyde came at the PERFECT time. We got Kade's birthday celebration in the day before he was born. He did not come on his due date, the 13th, which is Kade's birthday! And he came just early enough for Dad to be home for the first couple weeks!AND Mommy was able to teach up until 24hrs before his birth! Not sure if I could have taught all the way til the 13th :)
Though it was one of the HARDEST motnhs of our marriage...financially strapped, 9 months pregnant, etc... him being at home turned out to be such a blessing!  And it all has worked out in the end! He has been able to be at home with us these first 2 weeks of Hyde being at home and starts his new position as Operations Manager of the Memphis Towne Park accounts downtown on this Friday.  Not all Dads get 2 weeks off with their newborn and family, though they should! I could not be more proud of him.  He ALWAYS comes through for our family. ALWAYS. I couldn't ask for more.  
Today we went and purchased and fitted Mike for some new suits because he will need to wear suits a few times a week for this new job. Total hotty!!! :) The sales lady thought so too.. she kept commenting on all the tailoring that "athletic, muscular, V-built men need". "suits aren't built for men as in shape as you" ;)
When life throws us curve balls ( we Hills have had several thrown our way), it's hard to remember that the clouds WILL part soon enough and in hind sight, we will always be able to see the reason that it happen.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Hyde's Birth Story: Part 2

Becoming a Mother of Three

Today Hyde is one week old! We celebrated by taking him on his first trip to the park. The big boys wanted to walk with me and Hyde to help push :)  ( they usually ride their bikes)

Part of the miracle of life is the immediate, unconditional love you feel for your baby, and the strength that is given to a woman each time they give birth.  When Hyde was in my belly, I pictured what life would be like loving, teaching, mothering three kids. But you really just do not know until you have your baby in your arms, and take them home.
First of all, I thank God for trusting me to bring another child into this world. The past week has been filled with mostly, thankfulness and love. "Too blessed to be stressed". Sure taking care of a newborn requires a lot.  But is there anything in life that is rewarding yet easy? No. Plus, the third time around there are little to no nervous parent emotions so the whole process is much more lax.

 I am in total happiness with my current days of doing nothing but nursing, changing, bathing, and snuggling. ( of course with walks snuck in while Hyde is asleep with Dad) All the while enjoying all of this time with my big boys too!  I now can fully grasp what our new life is like.  It does not make me nervous in one bit... this is where our family was meant to be and I am excited waking up every single morning for our new day as a family of five!  It feels like he has always been here! I am sure he has been in our hearts from day one of The Hills.  Mike and I see so much of Pierce and Kade in Hyde. The three of their heart strings are definitely already tied tightly in knots together.  Hyde was immediately part of team Hill in their book ;)  It took them a few days to get used to him crying.  They would tear up themselves because they thought he was hurting.  Pierce was very upset when Hyde went to go get circumsized. He begged us not to... His Biggest Brother role was immediate! And Kade is very ready for Hyde to be able to play!

I don't even know how to express how much I love my Hyde Hill!! Well I could express it with how much I love Pierce and Kade Hill!! I have always said... kids do not share one big bucket of love from their parents...each have their own bucket :) No one ever goes without.

What a wonderful first week as a family of 5!!!


Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Hyde Christopher Hill's Birth Story: Part 1

Small recap of the last few weeks of the pregnancy:
Like any other woman , the last few weeks before his arrival were very taxing. You are not sleeping well, you feel huge , etc. Even though you KNOW it will all be worth becomes hard to remind yourself of that.  Having some trouble with groin and hip pain , on top of knowing what natural child birth involves/feels like.  I went natural with Kade(#2) and had an epidural with Pierce(#1). I was not quite as 'Gung Ho' about Hyde's natural delivery. But I did know it was what I wanted again. And that like everything else surrounding welcoming your will all be worth it in the end.  So, I was nervous the last few weeks about the labor and delivery.

Saturday 9/1/12: 38.5 weeks
Woke up trained personal client, taught Fusion, taught Core. Felt pretty good! He of course felt very low during Fusion but I still was moving pretty good and worked up a tremendous sweat! The rest of the day was Kade's 5th birthday celebration with our family and I really felt like I had another week or so left before Hyde came.  Went to bed with a disaster of a house from the party...thinking, oh we will clean in the morning...

Sunday 9/2/12
I woke up at 6:20, feeling what I thought for about 15 minutes were my strong Braxton Hicks that I had been having for months.  About 20 minutes into it, I started thinking they felt really low and a little more "pain " than "discomfort".  So at 6:40 I woke Mike up and said I was about 70% sure this was it. He was like,"what the heck does 70% mean?" ;)
We decided to start cleaning and showering and all just in case they got stronger and it was the day.  As I was in the middle of changing my clothes, my water broke in our bedroom right in front of Mike at 7:00AM on the dot. We were both so shocked we laughed and freaked out all at once. "Guess this IS it!".  We quickly showered, and got Mike's Mom to head over to the house for Pierce and Kade.  On the way to hospital my contractions were 4-5 min. apart but VERY bearable. I was putting on my makeup in the car on the way ;)
When we arrived at the hospital around 8:45AM, and got checked in, I was 4 cm dilated, confirmed bag of water broken and good patterned contractions.  I was immediately relieved that my nurse, April, seemed great!  For the next couple hours, I was chatting on the phone, and walking laps around the L and D halls to try to get things going and pass time.  The nurses were all smiles each time I passed them and they told Mike I "walked strangely fast" " is she really in labor"  My friends and family that I talked to on the phone were surprised of my joking and laughing too.
My Dr. was not on call that day. So again, I was worried but then quickly relieved to find out the Dr. who would be delivering was awesome too, just like my nurse. Things looked good!
When the Dr. checked around 11AM, I was 5cm.  Only  1cm progression in 2 hrs.  I was surprised.  But as soon as that dilation check happen, the pain grew quickly. I no longer was cheery, and was having to start my mental challenge of figuring out how to deal with the pain.  Things that had provided some coping with Kade's labor were not working and I quickly became scared of the pain and pretty much just miserable.  Mike of course was being awesome and trying to help as much as he could.  By 12, I knew this was going to be extremely difficult and I wanted just Mike and I in the room . Our plan was both Grandmas and Aunt T, just like with the other two. But my mental place was different this time...very all of the sudden.  Around 12:15, I still had not been checked again but the nurse was now in there trying to help Mike and I find where I was somewhat comfortable. Sitting, lying, squatting, standing, etc.- nothing was working.
At this point, the pain was so excruciating that my will power was gone. I wanted to be out of pain. NOW. In child birth, the unbearable pain...the pain your literally do not think you can live through is at 8-10 cm mark. And the last time I was checked, I was only 5-6cm. So, in my head, I was thinking this is only the half way point, there in no way I can keep on!  With Pierce and Kade, delivery was about another 4 hours after the 5cm mark and the pain progressed slowly but surely over those 4 hrs. I told Mike I didn't think I could do it this time.'It' being not get the epidural. He initially encouraged me that I could but then got scared with me and didn't like seeing me that way. When I told my nurse I was wanting to call the anesthesiologist, she said she would if I wanted. But, she that really thinks that by the time I got it and it kicked in, I would have already delivered. She encouraged me that I was close and that we should check one more time before I made that big decision. ( at this point checking was very painful so that's why they had not been). And...she was right. She checked and I was at 7-8cm.  I owe my nurse ,April,  a lot. Things could have been a lot different if I had had a different nurse. 
  It was about 12:30 now. Encouraged, remembering that I CAN do this, and knowing I was close, I found my "zone". I sat down on the birthing ball ( exercise ball)  leaned back into my husband's arms and prayed and cursed through every contraction.  This time unlike with Kade, every contraction, I squeezed on Mike's fingers. After the fact, he told me he thinks a few are broken. And just now he told me he still, can't even hold his dumbbells today ;) In between the contractions, I tried my best to relax and take several deep breaths. The nurse let us be for few during that time and said to push the call button when I felt the pressure change..  At about 12:55, the pain was scream worthy, and that I did. I couldn't even tell Mike to push the call button. I popped up and pushed it myself. The nurse could tell by my body language when she came in and immediately called for the Dr. and 'the team'. They all rushed in as I climbed up on to the bed.  Before the Dr. even said I could, I pushed as I was climbing up there; I had to! Dr. said, "Breathe , let's make sure you are fully dilated to 10cm." She checked- I was- so she said, "go for it, push again" I did. Then did again, as I was pretty much half trying to stand up in the bed because I didn't want to lie down.  On  my 3rd push, Hyde's head was out. On my 4th push at 1:00 sharp, my little miracle ( who certainly did not feel so little) was all the way out and I was holding him.  There are no words for that emotion(s). At that very moment is when the "IT IS ALL WORTH IT" part sets in . The relief is immediate and the definition of true, unconditional love at first site is there all at once.  I watched my husband fall in love immediately with his third son as he tried to see past his tears to cut the umbilical cord. God shows you the purpose of life. And the postpartum euphoria that comes with natural child birth was there. I was ready to walk right out of there with my new love!  WE DID IT!!!

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Pierce is Graduating Kindergarten

Tears are already flowing while ironing Pierce's clothes/gown for his Graduation and program tonight. I am just so proud of him it hurts! I am in total awe of his confidence and charisma. He taught me just how deep pride & love can go being our first born. I am so thankful to God for giving us the strength to make the best decision we've made -homeschooling our boys. Today these tears can be tears of pride that we have our boys where our hearts and minds know they need to be. The past 9 months of being their full time teacher has been such a fun, adventurous, rewarding experience! And I look forward to at least a few more years of it being just like this! Except with yet another little ball of energy around!! :)

Friday, April 20, 2012

Thank Heaven for Little Boys

Almost 9 years ago when Mike and I started dating, we always said we would have a large family. But did I really picture myself being the mother to his THREE boys? Wow, I am not quite sure!
But my how I am over-joyed that just that is what God has made me. Very early in Motherhood,  I started realizing that God had given me boys to humble me.  Having children brings one down to earth always, but for a very girly girl, boys were just what I needed. Growing up as a dancer and a track runner with only sisters, I was certainly athlete but if you threw a ball or a bug at me, I surely would duck, scream, and run.  That's how girly ;)
Aside from how my personality changed, my soul certainly changed as well. The unconditional love pouring from my sons' eyes was with out a doubt the reason for living now.
I titled this entry, "Thank Heaven for Little Boys". But I also have to thank heaven for Big Boys too. Pierce is 6 and a half now, headed to practice for Kindergarten graduation today. And I am so amazed at the individual he is becoming. With another baby brother on the way, Pierce is definitely my big boy now. He takes so much pride in his role as the leader of his pack.
Counting my blessing this morning. Mainly ones named Michael, Pierce, Kade, and Hyde Hill :)

Easter/Baby Revealment Party

Finding out our baby is Hyde, another brother!!!

Hyde Christopher Hill

Friday, February 10, 2012

Reality Check...

Reality Check...I am not Superwoman :(

With many things in my life...I head into them thinking it will be a breeze because I am tough and brave. And that I am, but every now and then, I have to be reminded that you can be tough and brave but just still not quite super-human.
For instance this pregnancy. Although I taught dance through both pregnancies and ran throughout Kade's, I was not a fitness instructor yet. And was not a Homeschooling Mom to two little boys. When we decided to get pregnant, and the first couple weeks of knowing I was pregnant, I honestly believed I would have no change in the way I felt. I was going to be Supermom... barely grow a basket ball belly like I did with Kade, and stay in my jeans til 7months . When the Dr. asked me if  I had nausea yet at 5 weeks, I relied, "no, remember ,I don't get that! " Well, I should have found some darn wood to knock on!! Because at about 6/7 weeks, nausea and fatigue set in like a storm. The all day kind,not morning. I have to add I have not been vomiting , just nausea. And I certainly have not felt or been myself. A few weeks ago I never would have thought I would have fallen into some of the things I have.
My biggest battle has not been the nausea itself. It has been how  am treating the nausea... by overeating carbs. This accompanied with treating my caffeine addiction with sweets has resulted in some first trimester weight gain that I certainly didn't want or foresee. So here I am at my 10th week already at the weight I thought I'd be at two months from now!
So now that I have mentioned a few negatives, I must move on to positive. Obviously God knows I MUST exercise. Not only is it my income but it is also my love and sanity.  I feel my absolute best during and immediately after my workouts. Not once have I felt like garbage during Fusion, Bootcamp, or an on my own workout.  Now, motivation to get to these things is a little down but once I'm there, I am great! I haven't even had to lower my workouts' intensities or slow my run pace yet. So that's awesome!
So, finding a moral to this...
I have to believe that a false sense of ease will always win over worry or doubt. All of the tremendously gruelling physical challenges I have had in my life, I have always gone into thinking/saying, "Oh this will be a breeze". Were they ? Hell No! But... would I have tackled them if I had known that in advance? Not sure! So..I will stay in my world of overly positive. Because for me, it works. I know I have a long 7 months ahead. And I will take it one hour at a time.
Now excuse me while I go eat another piece of bread ;)

Friday, January 27, 2012

Pierce is 6, Kade is 4, and...

I didn't blog when my sweet first born turned 6 the way I did when Kade turned 4...So let's talk Pierce Michael Hill for a minute.  I know you have all heard the idea before...Your first born teaches you how to be a Mom.  And this is so very true. You finally realize what your life is all about when you find out you will be a Mom. And the minute you hold that sweet soul, you immediately grow up.  The world stops, and nothing matters except creating a perfect world for your child. And God sure did give Pierce a sweet soul. When he loves, he loves bigger than I have seen. At 6 years old, he is one of the most passionate people I know!  I can honestly say that our boy is a great person and THAT feels really good.
So, when your children are 4 and 6, a question arises in your mind. Are we done having kids? We are pretty well past the baby years, and life is rolling a a fast pace between business, and the kids having their own little schedules now.  Even prior to dating, when we were still just friends, Mike and I talked about having a 'big' family...whatever that meant we didn't know yet.  So now going back to the question, "are we done having kids?" Knowing in my heart I was ready to answer that question, Mike and I started discussing the matter.  It was time to discuss because if we were done,it was time to have Mike have the 'permanent' procedure done (to make life a little easier if ya know what I mean).  So when we started talking that...we immediately realized we were not ready for the permanence. And decided we in fact were not 'done'.  So what does that mean? That means it's time to grow this Hill family again!! Mike and I have always been believers in "There is no time like the present; and details will always work themselves out". And well folks, The very first month we said "ok, what the heck? Let's give it a go"....WE NOW HAVE HILL BABY #3 COOKING! We saw and heard our third baby's strong heart beat yesterday!
Yes, you are reading this correctly! I am pregnant! We closed 2011 with an expansion of the family! As of today, I am heading into my 8th week! Mike and I were able to keep it from Pierce and Kade for a few days when we found out right around New Year's, and then we just couldn't stand it anymore. When we told them they were over the moon! They talk about the baby everyday and are of course, very inquisitive. I absolutely love the clarity that 4 and 6 year old minds bring to situations that adults complicate. Mike asked the boys kind of jokingly, "what are you going to do with a baby around here?!?" They both replied, "Duh, Dad, love it and hug it!!" And that's it. We know we have enough love to go around a family of five and everything else...we will figure out eventually! For now, we will bask in the excitement of my growing belly! Our wonderful families are overjoyed and supportive as always too. We are so lucky to have them all.
I know now-a-days less than 12 weeks is considered early to announce a pregnancy. But we want to be able to stop telling Pierce and Kade they can't tell anyone! We don't want them to feel like they can't be excited and proud. And Mike and I are pretty open people anyway. Oh and one more reason... I wear tight fitting workout clothes daily which already are starting to show my third-time-around uterus wanting to bulge already!! ;)
Pierce has, like Mike with his brothers, a great sense of pride in being the biggest and oldest, the protector. He has been saying often all the ways he will help take care of the baby. And Kade, he is going to be a BIG brother now!! You know he is over the moon about that! Pierce gives me extra hugs around my waist often saying they are for the baby. Kade asks me to open my mouth really big do he can yell into it to the baby things like, "When are you coming out?!?". And of course I let him. Afterall, the ears are developing this week and he or she better get used to Kade yelling.
And now for one of the questions I know you want to ask..."Will I still teach fitness?" 
Of Course I will! This baby will know dancing and dumbbells for sure! Pregnant booties can shake it too!! Just looking a little funny while doing it. I ran 6 days a week pushing Pierce in the jogging stroller all the way to the end with Kade in my belly. And my plan is to still do a Half Marathon in April.  My doc knows what I do and is all for me 'keepin' it up'. 
We are so very thankful for this blessing; there in none so great. We are very excited for what 2012 holds for our little Hill family that maybe I should stop calling little.